i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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