Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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