How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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