Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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