I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
