Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is wine microwaveable?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
