just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
