Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
