Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have fence marks all over my body
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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