Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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