told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
