The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
