if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
