i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
where are my eyebrows?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
