So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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