Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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