i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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