and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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