He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
