I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
