We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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