I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
