He uses pillows to masturbate.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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