is your mom at the bar?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize