I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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