You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
