I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
