so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
