She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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