Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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