your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
