Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
