I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
