His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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