dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
