Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
