When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
