Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
