Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
