Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
