just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
