Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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