Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize