Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize