NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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