Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize