If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
