So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
