I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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