I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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