Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
