Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
