You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
