I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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