My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
