What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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