haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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