a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
