it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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