I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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