My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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