I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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