I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
