how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
