Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
