I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
