this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize