I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
