she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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