How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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