No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
