He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
