it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize