I just pynch a tree in the face
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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