; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
