Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
