All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize