I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
