This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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