Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize