Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
