i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
