Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
