I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Small penises have feelings too.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize